Is it ok to say, "I love you" first?

Dear Deelaney,

I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months and I've been tempted to tell him I love him but I'm scared of saying it first. Should I wait for him to tell me first? Would he have told me this already if he loves me? I am not sure if he feels the same way or not but I really do love him a lot!

Fiona




Hi Fiona,

What you tell someone is really based on your comfort level with that person and whether or not you are ready to hear that he may not be in the same place as you are. If he is in the same place and just has been hesitant to say it first,  then it was well worth the risk, however, there is always the chance he does not feel the same way you do. If you really want to know where you stand in this relationship and where his feelings are at (and are willing to risk being rejected or discoveirng you are further along in your love than he is), I'd say go for it! There is no shame in loving someone else, even if they don't love you back in the same way, at least you were vulnerable and ready to open your heart to someone, which is an excellent quality.

If you are still sorting out where he stands, though, it is very possible he is not madly in love with you. The words "I love you" would be shown in a variety of ways by the 8 month mark and it has been my experience that most men have said it by now if they are truly interested in moving the relationship forward. I hope you do hear the words you are dying to hear back from him, though!

All the best,
  Deelaney

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